Only

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I was driving in the car tonight when I heard a song, it made me smile. It made me think back to all the things that Kelley and I have done over the years and how that was never really me. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying I was unhappy - it just wasn’t me. The more I am apart from her, the more I realize I just don’t enjoy the same things that she does. I am not a people watcher, I don’t like to sit around and just make fun of people. I like to have friends around me, good people who know how to enjoy themselves - people who come out of their shells in a social setting. I guess some people are happy being the bump on the proverbial log…

Nine Inch Nails - Only

I’m becoming less defined, as days go by
Fading away, well you might say I’m losing focus
Kind of drifting into the abstract in terms of how I see myself
Sometimes, I think I can see right through myself
Sometimes, I think I can see right through myself
Sometimes, I can see right through myself

Less concerned, about fitting into the world
Your world that is, cause it doesn’t really matter anymore
(No, it doesn’t really matter anymore)
No, it doesn’t really matter anymore
None of this shit really matters anymore

Yes, I am alone, but then again I always was
As far back as I can tell, I think maybe it’s because
Because you were never really real to begin with
I just made you up to hurt myself

I just made you up to hurt myself
Yeah, and I just made you up to hurt myself
I just made you up to hurt myself
Yeah, and I just made you up to hurt myself
And it worked

Yes it did!

There is no you, there is only me
There is no you, there is only me
There is no fucking you, there is only me
There is no fucking you, there is only me

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Well, the tiniest little dot caught my eye
And it turned out to be a scab
And I had this funny feeling
Like I just knew it’s something bad

I just couldn’t leave it alone
Picking at that scab
It was a doorway trying to seal itself shut
But I climbed through

Now I’m somewhere I am not supposed to be
And I can see things I know I really shouldn’t see
And now I know why now, now I know why
Things aren’t as pretty on the inside

There is no you, there is only me
There is no you, there is only me
There is no fucking you, there is only me
There is no fucking you, there is only me

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Comments

One Response to “Only”

  1. Kelley on December 12th, 2005 4:08 pm

    It wasn’t me being with you either. I am so happy to have someone who is actually in it to support mee and let me be just me. I never have to change anything and I am accepted for who I am inside and out. That is such a great feeling that I have never experienced before. But don’t lie, you were very unhappy otherwise you would not be where you are.

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